Whether you’ve been married forever, are newlyweds, or somewhere in between, you can always work on improving things. Maybe you’re saying, “There’s nothing wrong with my marriage. What’s there to work on?” If that’s the case, that’s great. I’m pretty sure though that it’s not great by accident.
Take my husband and myself for instance. Like everyone, we’ve had our moments, but ultimately we have a very happy marriage. However, we have a very unconventional life and have no children; so that makes it easier to focus on US. Besides that, we both put in the effort to have a wonderful life together!
Over the years I have found different books, projects, tips, strategies, ideas, games, etc. to continue nurturing our relationship. Not because there was anything wrong with it, but to try to keep it that way.
I’ve put together a list of books and some book series, I have read and enjoyed over the years, and I feel compelled to share them. If I find something that’s great and works, I’m definitely a fan of sharing!
I’m also including what will hopefully be our next project, in case anyone has tried it and has some insight.
1.) The 5 Love Languages, The Secret to Love That Lasts
By Gary Chapman
This book was super fun and could be for anyone. There’s a quiz to take to determine what your specific love language is. The author Gary Chapman outlined five ways to express and experience love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Ultimately, if you and your partner each know how you show love, then you’ll know how to receive love.
2.) The Love Dare
By Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick
This one I haven’t actually tried before but I have watched Fireproof, the movie based on it. In the movie, the marriage is falling apart and one spouse decides to do the Love Dare on the other. In correlation with the book, it is a 40 day Christian devotional that was designed to strengthen marriages. Each day has a a statement principle, daily devotional, and a “dare” to complete. There’s also space for journaling and to check off your progress.
3.) 101 Nights of Grreat Romance, Secret Sealed Seductions For Fun-loving Couples
By Laura Corn
This is sooooooooo fun! It is entirely made up of secret sealed envelopes for both partners labeled “His Eyes Only” or “Her Eyes Only.” Each one is numbered and has a title related to that week’s task. After you rip out the envelope and unfold it, you will see the weekly Seduction, a Conversation Piece, a Passion Coupon, and the Kiss of the Week. There’s also little icons that help give you an idea of what is expected in the envelope, i.e. if you’ll be traveling somewhere, the season, if food is involved, or how much if any money is involved.
4.) 101 Nights of Great Sex, Secret Sealed Seductions For Fun-loving Couples
By Laura Corn
This one is very similar to the above, except it’s A LOT more sexy! The main difference is that inside the envelope is just the seduction without the extra components as above.
5.) Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationship
By John Gray, Ph.D.
This classic book is an excellent resource to get into the minds of the opposite sex. It helps you understand that all problems are rooted by the fundamental realization that men and women are psychologically different, as if they were from different planets. It gives practical ways for men and women to communicate better by understanding each other’s differences.
6.) Mars and Venus In The Bedroom, A Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion
By John Gray, Ph.D.
Similar to the above, but focuses more on the intimate aspect of relationships and how men and women view sex differently. It is a self help book that focuses on understanding that both sexes have very different, but complementary, emotional and physical needs.
7.) In The Mood, How To Create Romance, Passion, and Sexual Excitement By Falling In Love All Over Again
By Doreen Virtue, Ph.D
This book is jam packed full of tips, tricks, and ideas to bring excitement and passion into your relationship. Written after ten years of experience counseling couples, and is a “step-by-step passion make-over.” It goes over both men and women and romance offering viewpoints from each sex. There’s different types of couples explained based on real relationship struggles, then gives fun ideas for passion makeovers. Along with the extensive amount of ideas given, there are also several recipes explained to be used as foreplay.
8.) 50 Shades of Grey Series
By E.L. James
If you haven’t been living under a rock, you have heard of this series. If you haven’t read the books, stop what you are doing and start reading! They are erotic novels that involve a college student and a successful business man who has very specific tastes. It is written with very sexual and descriptive content and delves into the world of BDSM relationships. It doesn’t have to be your thing to enjoy reading them and transferring that energy into your relationship.
Also, all three books have been made into movies now, so you’ll want to check those out too. I’d recommend reading the books first of course.
9.) The Crossfire Series
By Sylvia Day
If you liked the 50 Shades of Grey series, you will LOVE the Crossfire series! These are very passionate books based on the love between the two characters and their emotional pasts. They definitely have their erotica, but unlike the above, they are not focused on the same interests and tastes. One of the best series I’ve ever read!
10.) The 31 Day Pursuit Challenge
By Ryan Frederick and Selena Frederick
This is the one I would like to try next! Here is a summary I found online since I can’t give my own yet: “Every marriage begins with purpose, passion, and intentional pursuit, but few marriages stay that way. … Over the course of 31 days, your marriage will be transformed as you dig into God’s Word, rediscover how Christ has pursued you, and take real action to intentionally pursue your spouse.”
Leave a comment with any other suggested readings!